Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph present the Oscar for Live Action Short Film.

• KRISTEN: Six beautiful -- some say handsome, women invited by the Academy not only to present three awards, but also to shatter the common belief that size does not matter. I hate to tell you guys this, but it kinda does.
• MAYA: Yes, but not length. (Beat.) As my grandma used to say: it can be short and still make your toes curl. And I believe, in my heart, my grandma wasn't referring to wieners, but to short films.
• KRISTEN: See, I'd rather have a short film with some heft that's nice to me rather than a long film that just lies there and makes you do all the work.
• MAYA: Yeah, but sometimes a film can be too long.
• KRISTEN: Not for me.
• MAYA: What?